Murphy's Toddler Laws
If it's mine it's mine,
if it's yours it's mine,
if I like it is mine,
if I can take it from you it is mine,
if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,
if I think it is mine it is,
if I saw it first it's mine,
if I had it then put it down it is still mine,
if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,
if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,
if it is broken it is yours.
Is anyone else's toddler a professional at using Murphy's Toddler Laws? Maddy's favorite word is "mine". She said it so much today that I had to walk out of the room before I went crazy. So right now I am looking up articles on what to do to take this word out of her vocabulary once and for all. Maybe my hopes are too high, but remember the song about the ant who moved the rubber tree plant and because of his high hopes he not only moved one rubber tree, but several? There has to be a solution out there somewhere and if any of you know one please let me know!
5 comments:
I am so glad that my toddler isn't the only one that knows that word. I don't have any tips, but if you find any, I would love to hear. I look forward to you getting back to Vegas so we can vent about our toddlers.
I would only change one: If it's broken, "(in a pitiful whine) Why did YOU break it?"
The only advice someone once gave me is that learning the word "mine" is actually a very good thing. Once a toddler can establish ownership, then she can learn how to share. So next time she says "mine," try saying, "Yes, it's yours, will you share it with me?" or "Yes, it's yours, but I'm using it right now" or "No, it's mine, but I will share it with you." Let me know how it turns out!
Good luck with the 'mines'. Seriously nothing grates on my ears more than hearing kids say that especially when it isn't even theirs! (call me childish) My kids never had it too bad so I'm not sure if what I did worked or I'm just lucky. Whenever we were playing with something I would point out whose it was and that we were sharing. Then I would add how much more fun it is to share and play together. If it was theirs, I would confirm it and say lets share. If it wasn't theirs, I'd correct them and say, but I'll share it.
I'd nip this in the bud as soon as possible with two kids. If one of mine is playing with the other one's toy I point out that it isn't theirs and their sibling is sharing and how nice it is to share our toys. If they both want a toy - they each get 10 seconds (or less) and we keep alternating until one becomes bored or they don't care about it anymore. By the way - my kids have their own special toys/blankie that they aren't expected to share (no one wants to or should have to share EVERYthing ALL the time!)
sorry i haven't gotten to the tag yet - hmmmm
Few things I've heard/used:
1. Allow them to have special things that are just theirs and they can hide a couple things before friends come. Then they feel they have some control.
2. Make it clear before and during a playdate that anything we bring to someone's house/church is for sharing so don't pack anything you won't share
3. The great thing I learned when Weston was a baby is that he didn't care what toy he had, he just didn't want something snatched from him. So I taught Emma to negotiate trades. Before she could take a toy from him she had to find a proper substitute to offer (and wait for him to go for it).
4. Have a really cool toy that is yours (or the familys) and share it with her and her friends. "This is my Barbie but you may play with it."
5. "Share" is one of the jobs on my kids job chart and they get to move the magnet to the "done" column when they've done good. Girls especially love this visual.
6.Be sure to point out and praise anyone's efforts to share. Everything- mommy shared lunch, baby shared a smile, teacher shared a lesson, Daddy shared time. Everyone's sharing and everyone's loving it (right?)
I think the main issue with "mine" is toddler's craving control and the key is finding positive ways to give it to them. Whether that means letting them make a box of toys they'll share for playdates, choosing the snack they'll bring for their friends, or which book to give to the baby. Give them choices and let them feel they have a say.
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